NJSBA Family Law Section

I have a client who was in a non-martial relationship with a girlfriend who has daughter of a prior relationship.  Due to girlfriend's drug abuse during the relationship the boyfriend was granted sole then later joint custody of the child.  He presently receives child support for the child who is 13.

The parties have split and mom is sober-  the child now lives with mom and has had no contact with my client.

The parties want to terminate the existing support order (by consent) which is easy enough, but my client, no longer having a relationship with the child or any parental role in her life for more than a year now, wants to relinquish any rights/obligations to her.  All parties are in agreement.

Biological Dad is not in the picture; Mom has new husband who has taken on the role of Dad. 

I am uncertain how to achieve such termination (Can it be done by consent?) and if the same is even permissible/against public policy.

Any suggestions absent an adoption by Mom's new husband?

Thank you!


   
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Kara Oboler Esq.
Long Beach Township NJ
(609)207-6522

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Kara,  so if I understand correctly, your client is the former boyfriend of the mom and is not the genetic father.  If there is no longer a custodial order, under what theory does he have any obligations?  The mother has not sought to compel support or visitation, so why is he concerned?  I would think that he fits the bill as a psychological parent, but if no one is seeking to establish those rights and possible obligations - what is the concern?  Frankly, if I were the mom, I would want to know from my adolescent daughter whether she wants a relationship with the man who has helped raise her - she is the one prejudiced, perhaps, by the break-up and if your client wants to walk away - it may be a crappy thing to do to the child, but you have not described a situation where he has any continuing legal obligation.


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Debra Guston Esq.
Glen Rock NJ
(201)447-6660

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Original Message:
Sent: 08-27-2013 13:45
From: Kara Oboler
Subject: Relinquishing Non-Biological Dad's Rights


I have a client who was in a non-martial relationship with a girlfriend who has daughter of a prior relationship.  Due to girlfriend's drug abuse during the relationship the boyfriend was granted sole then later joint custody of the child.  He presently receives child support for the child who is 13.

The parties have split and mom is sober-  the child now lives with mom and has had no contact with my client.

The parties want to terminate the existing support order (by consent) which is easy enough, but my client, no longer having a relationship with the child or any parental role in her life for more than a year now, wants to relinquish any rights/obligations to her.  All parties are in agreement.

Biological Dad is not in the picture; Mom has new husband who has taken on the role of Dad. 

I am uncertain how to achieve such termination (Can it be done by consent?) and if the same is even permissible/against public policy.

Any suggestions absent an adoption by Mom's new husband?

Thank you!


   
-------------------------------------------
Kara Oboler Esq.
Long Beach Township NJ
(609)207-6522

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Thank you Debra.  There is an existing FD custodial order whereby Mom and Boyfriend have joint legal custody.

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Kara Oboler Esq.
Long Beach Township NJ
(609)207-6522

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Original Message:
Sent: 08-27-2013 13:52
From: Debra Guston
Subject: Relinquishing Non-Biological Dad's Rights

Kara,  so if I understand correctly, your client is the former boyfriend of the mom and is not the genetic father.  If there is no longer a custodial order, under what theory does he have any obligations?  The mother has not sought to compel support or visitation, so why is he concerned?  I would think that he fits the bill as a psychological parent, but if no one is seeking to establish those rights and possible obligations - what is the concern?  Frankly, if I were the mom, I would want to know from my adolescent daughter whether she wants a relationship with the man who has helped raise her - she is the one prejudiced, perhaps, by the break-up and if your client wants to walk away - it may be a crappy thing to do to the child, but you have not described a situation where he has any continuing legal obligation.


-------------------------------------------
Debra Guston Esq.
Glen Rock NJ
(201)447-6660

-------------------------------------------






Original Message:
Sent: 08-27-2013 13:45
From: Kara Oboler
Subject: Relinquishing Non-Biological Dad's Rights


I have a client who was in a non-martial relationship with a girlfriend who has daughter of a prior relationship.  Due to girlfriend's drug abuse during the relationship the boyfriend was granted sole then later joint custody of the child.  He presently receives child support for the child who is 13.

The parties have split and mom is sober-  the child now lives with mom and has had no contact with my client.

The parties want to terminate the existing support order (by consent) which is easy enough, but my client, no longer having a relationship with the child or any parental role in her life for more than a year now, wants to relinquish any rights/obligations to her.  All parties are in agreement.

Biological Dad is not in the picture; Mom has new husband who has taken on the role of Dad. 

I am uncertain how to achieve such termination (Can it be done by consent?) and if the same is even permissible/against public policy.

Any suggestions absent an adoption by Mom's new husband?

Thank you!


   
-------------------------------------------
Kara Oboler Esq.
Long Beach Township NJ
(609)207-6522

-------------------------------------------

Kara what I'm not clear on is whether there is a custodial order still in effect. If your client has an existing award of joint custody, l would think the mother would need to file a petition for sole custody, on consent, as you indicated. Assuming she is granted sole custody, I concur with Debra - I do not see that your client would have any continuing rights or obligations, as the only ones he had were given to him by the custody order in the first place. Maybe the parties could agree to some language in the consent order that would assuage your client's anxiety?
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C. Megan Oltman Esq.
Princeton NJ
(609)947-0784

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Original Message:
Sent: 08-27-2013 13:52
From: Debra Guston
Subject: Relinquishing Non-Biological Dad's Rights

Kara,  so if I understand correctly, your client is the former boyfriend of the mom and is not the genetic father.  If there is no longer a custodial order, under what theory does he have any obligations?  The mother has not sought to compel support or visitation, so why is he concerned?  I would think that he fits the bill as a psychological parent, but if no one is seeking to establish those rights and possible obligations - what is the concern?  Frankly, if I were the mom, I would want to know from my adolescent daughter whether she wants a relationship with the man who has helped raise her - she is the one prejudiced, perhaps, by the break-up and if your client wants to walk away - it may be a crappy thing to do to the child, but you have not described a situation where he has any continuing legal obligation.


-------------------------------------------
Debra Guston Esq.
Glen Rock NJ
(201)447-6660

-------------------------------------------






Original Message:
Sent: 08-27-2013 13:45
From: Kara Oboler
Subject: Relinquishing Non-Biological Dad's Rights


I have a client who was in a non-martial relationship with a girlfriend who has daughter of a prior relationship.  Due to girlfriend's drug abuse during the relationship the boyfriend was granted sole then later joint custody of the child.  He presently receives child support for the child who is 13.

The parties have split and mom is sober-  the child now lives with mom and has had no contact with my client.

The parties want to terminate the existing support order (by consent) which is easy enough, but my client, no longer having a relationship with the child or any parental role in her life for more than a year now, wants to relinquish any rights/obligations to her.  All parties are in agreement.

Biological Dad is not in the picture; Mom has new husband who has taken on the role of Dad. 

I am uncertain how to achieve such termination (Can it be done by consent?) and if the same is even permissible/against public policy.

Any suggestions absent an adoption by Mom's new husband?

Thank you!


   
-------------------------------------------
Kara Oboler Esq.
Long Beach Township NJ
(609)207-6522

-------------------------------------------

I also agree with Debra.  By way of anecdote - A friend had lived a few years with a woman and developed a relationship with the woman's son.  When they broke up, the child and the friend maintained a relationship, but it was always understood that the friend was not the child's father and had no rights or obligations to the child.

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Mitchell Steinhart Esq.
Rochelle Park, NJ
(201)368-4207

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Original Message:
Sent: 08-27-2013 14:05
From: C. Megan Oltman
Subject: Relinquishing Non-Biological Dad's Rights

Kara what I'm not clear on is whether there is a custodial order still in effect. If your client has an existing award of joint custody, l would think the mother would need to file a petition for sole custody, on consent, as you indicated. Assuming she is granted sole custody, I concur with Debra - I do not see that your client would have any continuing rights or obligations, as the only ones he had were given to him by the custody order in the first place. Maybe the parties could agree to some language in the consent order that would assuage your client's anxiety?
-------------------------------------------
C. Megan Oltman Esq.
Princeton NJ
(609)947-0784

-------------------------------------------






Original Message:
Sent: 08-27-2013 13:52
From: Debra Guston
Subject: Relinquishing Non-Biological Dad's Rights

Kara,  so if I understand correctly, your client is the former boyfriend of the mom and is not the genetic father.  If there is no longer a custodial order, under what theory does he have any obligations?  The mother has not sought to compel support or visitation, so why is he concerned?  I would think that he fits the bill as a psychological parent, but if no one is seeking to establish those rights and possible obligations - what is the concern?  Frankly, if I were the mom, I would want to know from my adolescent daughter whether she wants a relationship with the man who has helped raise her - she is the one prejudiced, perhaps, by the break-up and if your client wants to walk away - it may be a crappy thing to do to the child, but you have not described a situation where he has any continuing legal obligation.


-------------------------------------------
Debra Guston Esq.
Glen Rock NJ
(201)447-6660

-------------------------------------------






Original Message:
Sent: 08-27-2013 13:45
From: Kara Oboler
Subject: Relinquishing Non-Biological Dad's Rights


I have a client who was in a non-martial relationship with a girlfriend who has daughter of a prior relationship.  Due to girlfriend's drug abuse during the relationship the boyfriend was granted sole then later joint custody of the child.  He presently receives child support for the child who is 13.

The parties have split and mom is sober-  the child now lives with mom and has had no contact with my client.

The parties want to terminate the existing support order (by consent) which is easy enough, but my client, no longer having a relationship with the child or any parental role in her life for more than a year now, wants to relinquish any rights/obligations to her.  All parties are in agreement.

Biological Dad is not in the picture; Mom has new husband who has taken on the role of Dad. 

I am uncertain how to achieve such termination (Can it be done by consent?) and if the same is even permissible/against public policy.

Any suggestions absent an adoption by Mom's new husband?

Thank you!


   
-------------------------------------------
Kara Oboler Esq.
Long Beach Township NJ
(609)207-6522

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