NJSBA Family Law Section

I hope all is well. Interesting call received from a PC – who is the "ex-wife" in the below fact patter. Couple formally divorced in the late 1990. FJD is not from NJ. The couple never stopped living together. About 2001/2002, the divorced couple move to the State of NJ. Ex-husband buys a home [just his name] and the entire family moved in to this new home, including the Ex-wife / PC. The couple has several more children, one is just 8 years old. The "couple" continues to file their tax returns, each year, "MARRIED FILING JOINTLY". Ex-husband still works part-time, but the family has significant financial hardship and basically Ex-husband's parents support them / pays the mortgage, etc. Ex-wife / PC developed disabilities in recent years. Financially, on her own, with the children in her own, she has learned she would qualify for various government benefits including housing assistance, etc. It happens to be that, at this time, Ex-husband's is planning on moving in with his parents, out-of-state, in the near future, coming back to his home to see his children, when he wants to.

What steps / approach would you recommend to this PC? Should she be sitting down with a CPA or a tax and / or disability benefit attorney, not a family lawyer [you are divorced, getting along fine with your ex, even having more children with him…but the issues you are contacting me about is beyond "PSA / MSA" addendums, etc.]? If the two of them cooperatively agree on how to handle their "post-divorce" children finances / custody matters, with or without the guidance of a family lawyer, are the underlying current inquiries simply not family law arena centric. My gut is telling me to put her in touch with other disciplines. I just would like some feedback to present the PC her various options.

I hope all is well. Interesting call received from a PC – who is the "ex-wife" in the below fact patter. Couple formally divorced in the late 1990. FJD is not from NJ. The couple never stopped living together. About 2001/2002, the divorced couple move to the State of NJ. Ex-husband buys a home [just his name] and the entire family moved in to this new home, including the Ex-wife / PC. The couple has several more children, one is just 8 years old. The "couple" continues to file their tax returns, each year, "MARRIED FILING JOINTLY". Ex-husband still works part-time, but the family has significant financial hardship and basically Ex-husband's parents support them / pays the mortgage, etc. Ex-wife / PC developed disabilities in recent years. Financially, on her own, with the children in her own, she has learned she would qualify for various government benefits including housing assistance, etc. It happens to be that, at this time, Ex-husband's is planning on moving in with his parents, out-of-state, in the near future, coming back to his home to see his children, when he wants to.

What steps / approach would you recommend to this PC? Should she be sitting down with a CPA or a tax and / or disability benefit attorney, not a family lawyer [you are divorced, getting along fine with your ex, even having more children with him…but the issues you are contacting me about is beyond "PSA / MSA" addendums, etc.]? If the two of them cooperatively agree on how to handle their "post-divorce" children finances / custody matters, with or without the guidance of a family lawyer, are the underlying current inquiries simply not family law arena centric. My gut is telling me to put her in touch with other disciplines. I just would like some feedback to present the PC her various options.

This sounds like a disability/elder law divorce mix,  I would be happy to help. 

Lynn E. Staufenberg

PO Box 489

268 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ  07701

(P):  732-747-3700

(F): 732-758-9068

Email: [email protected]