NJSBA Family Law Section

There is absolutely a case where the court took into consideration support from parents of a litigant.  It's less than ten years old, I think.   It was a big money case, as I remember it.  Parents of the litigant had a lot of money.  Litigants spent a lot of money but didn't necessarily make a lot of money.  I think there was a family business involved.

Woman wants grandparents to pay alimony

Monday, May 16, 2005

 BY MARGARET McHUGH

 Star-Ledger Staff

© 2005  The Star Ledger

When Douglas Idleman got so ill he couldn't work, his parents stepped in to pay the mortgage on his $775,000 home in Morris County, the household bills and tuition for one son's private school. When his wife, Cynthia Idleman, filed for divorce, his parents continued to support her and their two sons, giving her about $20,000 a month. Now Cynthia Idleman is trying to make her in-laws part of the divorce, asking that they continue to pay her spousal and child support. "They stepped into the shoes of their son, taking care of the family. You can't then just lift anchor and take off," said Tom Snyder, Cynthia Idleman's attorney.

Legal observers say Cynthia Idleman's claim is novel, but question how successful she will be in a state where the law does not require grandparents to pay support. "I think it's a creative argument," said Ann Freedman, associate professor of law at Rutgers Law School in Camden, where she teaches family law. "It could go either way." Charles Matison, president-elect of the New Jersey Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, said "it's a stretch," but said a judge must weight what's fair. One question judges consider is "will both people live a reasonably comparable lifestyle?" "The judge is going to have to make some hard findings of fact, and some hard decisions," Matison said. Superior Court Judge Allison Accurso, sitting in Morristown, is scheduled to hear the case on May 27. Theresa Julian, Douglas Idleman's attorney, said she would be filing papers opposing Snyder's attempt to make his parents defendants in the case. She said she could not say more while the case was pending.

Cynthia and Douglas Idleman married in 1988 and had two sons, the younger of whom is autistic, court papers said. Cynthia Idleman has been a stay-at-home mother for most of their marriage. Douglas Idleman, now 43, took an early retirement from AT&T in 1998, and he and Cynthia, now 40, used most of the $350,000 to buy their home in Denville, he wrote in court papers. He then worked for himself as a public relations and marketing consultant. In 2002, he was diagnosed with liver failure, and in 2003 underwent three transplants in three months, followed by months of rehabilitation and hospitalizations, court papers said. The couple separated in the spring of 2003, and Douglas Idleman moved in with his parents, Lee and Sue, in Madison. While Idleman has been out of work, his parents, now retired and in their 70s, have been supporting his family, both sides agree. His father, Lee, had a successful career in finance, and 18 years ago endowed a scholarship at his alma mater, Bucknell University, where tuition and room and board tops $37,000. While the grandparents paid the household expenses for Cynthia Idleman and the boys, she ran up more than $45,000 on charge cards, he claimed in court papers. Cynthia Idleman said the credit cards were already high when her husband became ill.

"He wanted a great big everything," she said last night. "That was him. We always had money coming in from a different place, so it didn't matter. "According to him, we were covered." Cynthia Idleman said that once her in-laws became her sole supporters, Lee Idleman told her to charge all expenses so he could track them. Their mortgage alone costs $4,600 a month and tuition to send their teenage son to private school is $1,333 a month, court papers said. Day care and domestic help tack on another $1,660. Cynthia Idleman said she is most concerned about keeping her home in Denville, because the school system pays to send her younger son to a specialized program, where tuition is $45,000 a year. In court papers, Douglas Idleman claimed his parents' financial support was temporary, and that as he gets back on his feet, he will provide for his sons. Based on his current monthly income of $3,638 in Social Security and inheritance money, Idleman said he is only obligated to pay $70 a week in child support, but is willing to pay nearly $8,000 a month with help from his parents, according to court papers.

Reached at their Madison home, the Idlemans declined to comment. Snyder, Cynthia Idleman's attorney, said he believes a judge could find the grandparents set the standard by supporting the family these years and must continue to do so. It is an argument often used in divorce cases, that the wife should be afforded the lifestyle she is accustomed to. Longtime family attorney John Paone Jr. in Woodbridge said he doubted that argument would be successful. "It would be a major break in the law," Paone said. "If the grandparents want to take their money and go to Florida tomorrow, I don't think the court can hold them back."

Charlie knows everything…or, just about.

Woman wants grandparents to pay alimony

Monday, May 16, 2005

 BY MARGARET McHUGH

 Star-Ledger Staff

© 2005  The Star Ledger

When Douglas Idleman got so ill he couldn't work, his parents stepped in to pay the mortgage on his $775,000 home in Morris County, the household bills and tuition for one son's private school. When his wife, Cynthia Idleman, filed for divorce, his parents continued to support her and their two sons, giving her about $20,000 a month. Now Cynthia Idleman is trying to make her in-laws part of the divorce, asking that they continue to pay her spousal and child support. "They stepped into the shoes of their son, taking care of the family. You can't then just lift anchor and take off," said Tom Snyder, Cynthia Idleman's attorney.

Legal observers say Cynthia Idleman's claim is novel, but question how successful she will be in a state where the law does not require grandparents to pay support. "I think it's a creative argument," said Ann Freedman, associate professor of law at Rutgers Law School in Camden, where she teaches family law. "It could go either way." Charles Matison, president-elect of the New Jersey Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, said "it's a stretch," but said a judge must weight what's fair. One question judges consider is "will both people live a reasonably comparable lifestyle?" "The judge is going to have to make some hard findings of fact, and some hard decisions," Matison said. Superior Court Judge Allison Accurso, sitting in Morristown, is scheduled to hear the case on May 27. Theresa Julian, Douglas Idleman's attorney, said she would be filing papers opposing Snyder's attempt to make his parents defendants in the case. She said she could not say more while the case was pending.

Cynthia and Douglas Idleman married in 1988 and had two sons, the younger of whom is autistic, court papers said. Cynthia Idleman has been a stay-at-home mother for most of their marriage. Douglas Idleman, now 43, took an early retirement from AT&T in 1998, and he and Cynthia, now 40, used most of the $350,000 to buy their home in Denville, he wrote in court papers. He then worked for himself as a public relations and marketing consultant. In 2002, he was diagnosed with liver failure, and in 2003 underwent three transplants in three months, followed by months of rehabilitation and hospitalizations, court papers said. The couple separated in the spring of 2003, and Douglas Idleman moved in with his parents, Lee and Sue, in Madison. While Idleman has been out of work, his parents, now retired and in their 70s, have been supporting his family, both sides agree. His father, Lee, had a successful career in finance, and 18 years ago endowed a scholarship at his alma mater, Bucknell University, where tuition and room and board tops $37,000. While the grandparents paid the household expenses for Cynthia Idleman and the boys, she ran up more than $45,000 on charge cards, he claimed in court papers. Cynthia Idleman said the credit cards were already high when her husband became ill.

"He wanted a great big everything," she said last night. "That was him. We always had money coming in from a different place, so it didn't matter. "According to him, we were covered." Cynthia Idleman said that once her in-laws became her sole supporters, Lee Idleman told her to charge all expenses so he could track them. Their mortgage alone costs $4,600 a month and tuition to send their teenage son to private school is $1,333 a month, court papers said. Day care and domestic help tack on another $1,660. Cynthia Idleman said she is most concerned about keeping her home in Denville, because the school system pays to send her younger son to a specialized program, where tuition is $45,000 a year. In court papers, Douglas Idleman claimed his parents' financial support was temporary, and that as he gets back on his feet, he will provide for his sons. Based on his current monthly income of $3,638 in Social Security and inheritance money, Idleman said he is only obligated to pay $70 a week in child support, but is willing to pay nearly $8,000 a month with help from his parents, according to court papers.

Reached at their Madison home, the Idlemans declined to comment. Snyder, Cynthia Idleman's attorney, said he believes a judge could find the grandparents set the standard by supporting the family these years and must continue to do so. It is an argument often used in divorce cases, that the wife should be afforded the lifestyle she is accustomed to. Longtime family attorney John Paone Jr. in Woodbridge said he doubted that argument would be successful. "It would be a major break in the law," Paone said. "If the grandparents want to take their money and go to Florida tomorrow, I don't think the court can hold them back."