Effective communication is essential for strong relationships. Lawyers are naturally skilled communicators, whether in court, drafting briefs and contracts or managing client interactions. Yet the demands and adversarial nature of their profession can spill into their personal lives, making their conversations at work and home more contentious and straining those relationships.
To help lawyers strengthen relationships with family and colleagues, the New Jersey State Bar Association offered a free online seminar on maintaining healthy connections without stress. The program was provided through the NJSBA Member Assistance Program, a free member benefit that connects members – and anyone else in their households – to trained, experienced mental health professionals and resources. Check out the NJSBA calendar for free wellness events scheduled February and April.
Try these quick tips from the seminar to build stronger, healthier relationships at home and with friends.
Practice Mindful Listening
-Give your attention and avoid distractions – There’s nothing more frustrating than talking to someone who’s distracted by their watch, phone or the TV. Try to remain present and device-free during conversations.
-Avoid giving advice – Focus on the speaker and resist the urge to interject advice or suggestions until they’ve finished.
-Take notes – for the long-winded speaker, it can be helpful to take notes to keep track of what they’re saying.
Mindful Speaking is Critical
-Slow down – collect your thoughts before you speak to avoid saying something regrettable. And, ask if what you are saying is truthful, helpful or informative.
-Be concise – people are more likely to remember information that is presented succinctly rather than buried.
-Watch your volume and tone – finding the right tone and volume signals respect and encourages trust.
Remember, Not All Conflict is Negative
-Agree to the problem – people often see problems differently because of their underlying needs, interests and goals. Find the problem first before working toward a resolution.
-Understand viewpoints – if you can’t agree on the problem, at minimum try to understand the other person’s perspective.
-Agree to disagree – what matters most is finding common ground and addressing issues in a way that respects everyone.