By Jeralyn L. Lawrence, of Lawrence Law, and president-elect of the New Jersey State Bar Association Board of Trustees.
This article first appeared in the August 2021 edition of New Jersey Lawyer. Read the full issue here (login required).
What does it mean to be a good adversary? To me, it means the following:
- If you are asked for an adjournment—absent extreme, exigent, exceptional circumstances, consent. Do not leave it to your client’s discretion.
- Work together to make sure both sides are paid counsel fees.
- Do not engage in letter-writing campaigns. Picking up the phone or meeting face-to-face should be a priority in how we communicate with each other. One phone call often disposes of weeks and weeks of letters. Communicating directly often leads to more meaningful and productive conversation. It is also much more difficult to take an unreasonable position when speaking directly. If you have a problem connecting on the phone with your adversary, schedule a conference call.
- Don’t confuse electronic communication with instant messaging. Many are of the mindset that if they send an email, a response will appear instantaneously. Be more mindful and respectful of how many emails you send. Put all of your thoughts, questions and concerns into one concise email, and send it with all of the formalities of a professional letter.
- Lose the gladiator, win-at-all-costs mentality. Do not make demands; make requests and suggestions. Have goals and objectives instead of problems and disputes, Be respectful. Be an advocate—a zealous one—but advocate differently. You can still be strong and clear; just be professional, kind, and courteous at the same time.
- Do not object if your adversary files a motion to get out of the case.
- If you serve a motion, send two copies. If you have exhibits, use exhibits tabs. Not only do the Court Rules require it, but it is also the courteous thing to do.
- Do not sit at the head of the table in a meeting. Progress suffers when we engage in power struggles. Be a decent example to your clients, and show that if you can cooperate, so can they.
- Change your letters to change your approach. Rather than write Jones v. Jones in the “Regarding” line, I write “In the Marriage of Jones,” which reads more respectful to the parties. Be cognizant of your client’s feelings and remember that things you deem inconsequential could have great significance to them.
- Remember that all we ever needed to know about life and the successful practice of law, we learned in kindergarten. Be nice. Build relationships. Your reputation is everything and is always on the line. Be credible. Be reliable. Be on time. Have lunch with friends and colleagues. And face-to-face contact is invaluable.